Scars

My heart is aching... feeling the sting of old wounds. This day has been full of memories and emotions that feel fresh and raw.  I don't want to be part of this club.  Thankfully, I'm not in the club alone... and, unfortunately.... I know too many other members. One of the members, asked me if the pain ever goes away?  I don't think it does..... and, I don't really want it to go away completely.  It sounds crazy and maybe, it is.  I don't want to forget that they were here, however briefly... that they, were alive and growing inside me.... that they, were part of me. I don't want to diminish the bigness of their precious lives. The pain becomes a source of comfort, in it's own weird way. It's a mark on my life.... a scar.

 

There are days like this...... when I wander back down the road, that brought me to where I am today..... making me slow down and listen. Whispers of promises that are held close to my heart.  Words that calm the sting and soothe.

 

(Psalms 147:3) He heals the brokenhearted, And binds up their wounds

 

(Jer.29:11) "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

 

We all have scars.... some, more evident than others. A scar represents an injury....one that has healed. It's a reminder of when we weren't quite whole. I look at my knee and remember running down the stairs in our house at the farm, and slipping on the kitchen floor, sliding into the side of the washing machine.  That scar is barely visible now. Emotional wounds are the hardest to heal, and sometimes take the longest.... but, they CAN be healed. 

 

 

I don't want my scars to define me. I want them to 

REMIND me that I am whole.