Yesterday was my sweet husbands birthday. I wanted to do some extra little things to make it special. Thatcher decided that Daddy should have a birthday cake. He thought he should have a party too! We agreed on the cake... and we went to buy one. We decided to take it to him at work. I had big plans to take him a pizza too. Forget the pizza... it was almost 11:30 and I needed to drive 30 to 35 minutes! It was a fun surprise! I called him from the parking lot and said, "I wish you'd come kiss me" and he said "me too!", so I said "Well, come on out here!". He was surprised to see us there.... and I got a kiss! The guys he worked with, were really happy about the cake!
I've been challenging myself each day (even the extra tired days!) to do some extra, little things to show my husband how much I love him. Those things came quite easily in the early days of our marriage,... and without much thought! Life has a way of interfering with things! Even just taking the time for a meaningful kiss, when he gets home, is something I have to remind myself to do. I need him to know that after almost 20 years, HE is still the one I love completely. I'M ALL IN!
The newness of falling in love is exciting, and consuming. But, the sweet familiarity of a true and faithful love is pretty amazing, as well. To know that we are in it together... no matter what....well, there just aren't many words for that. I am a sucker for romantic movies. I love the swell of the music and the happy ending. There are several movies, that I could watch over and over. I turn the volume up at the end, get goosebumps and happy tears. Spencer and my husband make fun of me, ('cause I tell them not to ruin the ending!). They make fun of me, because I already KNOW the ending! Those kind of movies, remind me of when love was brand new and thrilling. It gives me a glimpse of that giddy feeling again.
After 20 years, there is a still such a sweetness and thankfully.... I have a romantic husband. He knows I love the wordy, lovey cards.... and, he sends flowers.... for no reason! He is all about grand gestures.... and I do love those gestures. But, I love the little gestures too. He can still make me giddy and take my breath away! I remember when we were first married, I was getting ready to go out and I couldn't find my boots. I remember saying (to myself), that I must have left them in the car. He appeared a short time later....with the boots. I think that touched me, (and stayed with me) because I KNEW, he was listening to me.
Dr. Phil (I know!) says, the #1 reason most people stray from their marriage, is that someone else makes them feel important.... listens to them. That sounds like such a simple, silly little thing. But, that is one of the reasons falling in love is so thrilling.... someone listens to everything we say... and with great enthusiasm!.....they make us feel like the most important person in the whole world!
I want him to always KNOW that he is the most important person in my world.
Marriage needs to be tended to, prayed over, and guarded.....(Wise words from my pastor).
Marriage changes.... it can't stay the same. People change.... and if you expect different relationships (friends, family) to change from time to time... you have to expect it of your marriage. I'm thankful that my husband doesn't expect me to be the same person he married almost 20 years ago! Where would we be today if we expected that of each other?! I DO expect him to keep the vows he made to me. I DO expect his unconditional love. I DO expect grace and forgiveness. I DO expect him to be here, day after day.
I'm not an expert (on any topic!) but I think our society has changed our expectations of people. There appears to be an emphasis on making sure WE, are happy all the time. There seems to be a lot of emphasis on how other people make US, feel. Where is the accountability in that? Why is it fine to blame others for our unhappiness? What role do we play in the reality of our own life? I am tired of the blame game. Yes, it is easier to have a villain in your life....One who gets all the blame... deserved or not. I think making someone else the villain..... makes it easier to walk away. Makes it easier not to look at what we don't want to see in ourselves.
I have learned and I'm still learning....(yes, took me many years), that I need to stop wallowing in my own self pity, sometimes, and look for MY accountability in whatever is happening right then. It is very hard to stand in another persons shoes, when you want to kick them in the pants with them! It's very hard to look at another perspective, when you are completely sure that you are right! It is almost impossible to have ears to hear something that goes against every fiber of your being.
Oh, I'm a stubborn one... so, I know!
But, my love for him is more...
and I want him to know that!
I love this link to "31 Days of Praying for your Husband"
https://www.reviveourhearts.com/articles/31-days-of-praying-for-your-husband/
This was a good day. Is it ALWAYS good....no! Is it WORTH it... yes! Thank you for reading my ramblings! Sometimes, I get off on rabbit trails. This blog really just started out about his birthday!!!!
Happy Birthday Baby!
Marriage changes.... it can't stay the same. People change.... and if you expect different relationships (friends, family) to change from time to time... you have to expect it of your marriage. I'm thankful that my husband doesn't expect me to be the same person he married almost 20 years ago! Where would we be today if we expected that of each other?! I DO expect him to keep the vows he made to me. I DO expect his unconditional love. I DO expect grace and forgiveness. I DO expect him to be here, day after day.
I'm not an expert (on any topic!) but I think our society has changed our expectations of people. There appears to be an emphasis on making sure WE, are happy all the time. There seems to be a lot of emphasis on how other people make US, feel. Where is the accountability in that? Why is it fine to blame others for our unhappiness? What role do we play in the reality of our own life? I am tired of the blame game. Yes, it is easier to have a villain in your life....One who gets all the blame... deserved or not. I think making someone else the villain..... makes it easier to walk away. Makes it easier not to look at what we don't want to see in ourselves.
I have learned and I'm still learning....(yes, took me many years), that I need to stop wallowing in my own self pity, sometimes, and look for MY accountability in whatever is happening right then. It is very hard to stand in another persons shoes, when you want to kick them in the pants with them! It's very hard to look at another perspective, when you are completely sure that you are right! It is almost impossible to have ears to hear something that goes against every fiber of your being.
Oh, I'm a stubborn one... so, I know!
But, my love for him is more...
and I want him to know that!
I love this link to "31 Days of Praying for your Husband"
https://www.reviveourhearts.com/articles/31-days-of-praying-for-your-husband/
This was a good day. Is it ALWAYS good....no! Is it WORTH it... yes! Thank you for reading my ramblings! Sometimes, I get off on rabbit trails. This blog really just started out about his birthday!!!!
Happy Birthday Baby!
I love this! Such good reminders about how awesome marriage is and how little gestures (and big ones too) make our hubbies feel important and cherished. I'm glad you and Gunar are such a great example of a wonderful marriage to your kiddos and to others. Love, Beth
ReplyDeleteThank you....I don't want to imply that we have it together all the time.... cause we don't! I know there are people out there struggling (and we have too), and I don't want to make light of what they are going through. Every marriage is different and has it's own growing pains. I just need to continue to challenge myself to keep learning & growing.... make it everything it can be. I don't want to forget to tend my garden. I am thankful for our parents, siblings, family & friends... who also place great importance on marriage. You all are a great example to us and our children. We are all in it together!
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