I wrote this draft a year and a half ago.... so much of it still resonates deep with me. It's about women and moms.... How the world has influenced the definition of both. I love my MOPs group. I love the women and moms there.
Thinking about my fun morning yesterday, with several amazing
women. It's always humbling and reassuring to hear others voice the
same struggles that I sometimes battle. It's a welcome reminder that
I'm not the only one! It calms my spirit and grounds me. It hurts my
heart to hear others, talk through tears... to have the courage to
say they feel alone. To have the courage to say they don't feel like
they have it together. Who does really?! I think women listen too
many times, to the whispers of comparison, and doubt.... so much, that we question our self worth.
Television and magazines show us perfect families....perfect women, with model
homes, husbands, kids, friends, pets and cars. Those TV families
are so blessed.... their little conflicts are resolved in a mere
half hour! Then there is social media.... where we see glamourous pictures and lovely quotes and stories..... perfected selfies, children, new cars, houses, trips and dinner out with
friends, decorated rooms, flowers from loved ones, etc..... It's
overwhelming!
I realize there are different seasons for women. Seasons when you
are just getting through the day with little kids... when the house
is a wreck, laundry might be done, but certainly not folded and put
away! Words can't even express the gratitude I have for the person
who invented the dishwasher! The car is a wreck too, since that's
where we are most the time.... taking a kid here or there and
picking another one up. Seasons,.... when your kids are out running
around and you question who you are. Your job has always been mom...
and now you are alone in a perfectly clean house, with everything in
order and you begin to miss those crazy toddler days.
When did things change? When did it become "not enough"
to be a good wife and mom? When did the standard, become
sub-standard? Now, I'm suppose to rise at dawn, to work out or go to
the gym (and I must go looking like a model in a fitness ad ), look
and dress like I'm going out with friends (no sweatpants!), fix a
nutritious breakfast for the
kids, take kids to school, make sure the house is in order and
spotless, do an amazing craft with the little ones (must post
pictures on Facebook, Twitter and Google, later), during nap time...
write an amazing blog or something insightful to post, read bible and
have quiet time, continually check for notifications on amazing posts
written earlier,......Google recipe for dinner (no hamburger
helper!), pick up kids from school or practice, (or take others to
practice), sit around table with hubby and kids and talk about our
day, clean up kitchen and straighten the rest of the house, while
family plays together....then, go for a hike, walk or something else
amazing, before kids baths ...... read books together and snuggle,
have enough energy to be amazing sex partner in the bedroom.... while
still looking (and smelling) amazing after, an incredibly long day.
WHAT?!
Most days, I don't really care about those things. I do my
best to be a good wife and mother. I have good days, and I have bad
days. I know those other things aren't important. I have really good
friends and a good life. Why do we allow all that other stuff to
creep in sometimes? I believe, it's because we have become very good
at looking like we live this way. We don't allow others to see
failures, disappointments, or anything we consider "sub
standard". It's really deceiving to others and most of all...
it's deceptive to ourselves! I don't want to wear a mask. I don't
want to feel the need to apologize for a messy house. I don't want to
apologize for crying, while I share my raw feelings. Why do we do
that? When we get emotional, we say "I'm sorry".... like we
are offending others, for crying? It's crazy!
We apologize for our imperfections in an imperfect world!
Let's celebrate all the parts of live....the perfect and the messy! Let's be real with each other, so we can benefit from knowing that we aren't alone. Life is messy most the time, but it's also amazing! My dining floor needs swept every day, and most days I get it done, but sometimes I don't. Dust bunnies dance with the breeze of each ceiling fan. My cabinets are messy and unorganized.... and closed! The front glass door ALWAYS has fingerprints or a dogs nose print on it. I've used disposable diapers AND jar baby food. My kids don't always watch educational TV. Each of them has been potty trained at a different age. Most the time I dress for comfort... I wear the same worn out flip flops that I've had for two summers. I apply my makeup in 5 minutes, and I do not look flawless! I've learned not to care too much, about those little things.
Don't listen to the whispers.....let's be fearless and celebrate all the things in our lives.
Come and be a little messy with me! I think you are wonderful, beautiful and imperfect!
